Real Men Sing Happy Birthday

Some of the most personally rewarding work for me right now is facilitating all-male cohorts. The men constantly surprise me, but never more so than this past week, when I found myself in D.C., surrounded by this group of inspirational men. Let me tell you their story.

This story is not only about a group of great guys, but also about one specific dad. A dad who was scheduled to be across the country and possibly miss celebrating with his daughter on her 18th birthday.

At dinner on the first night of the cohort, the dad had two big favors to ask of the group. His first big ask was to request that the agenda be shifted on our second day by 30 minutes to start & end earlier – allowing him to make a tight timeframe to catch a flight home to his family. (These events typically start at 8:00am, so starting 30 minutes earlier is no small favor!)

His second big ask of the group was if they would all be willing to stop at 11:30am EST to FaceTime with his daughter so he could join his family to sing to her. He shared with us that, in his family, on every child’s birthday, they are treated to a “tower of donuts” for breakfast – and then they are regaled with the singing of Happy Birthday. It was a tradition that mattered to him deeply.

The guys resoundingly agreed, and dinner continued. To be honest, I didn’t think too much more about it.

Until the next morning.

I arrived an hour before our start time to gear up for the day and was surprised to see a few guys had arrived before me. Unbeknownst to me, they went into the city and bought two dozen donuts and arranged them on a platter into a personal “tower of donuts.” There was even a candle perched at the top.

Imagine the priceless look on the dad’s face when he saw the tower. It’s a look I will never forget.

Sure enough, at 11:30am EST, as promised, we stopped our session so he could FaceTime with his daughter. Only, the dad didn’t slink off to a corner to sheepishly sing out of earshot of the other guys. Oh no . . . he proudly serenaded her, standing right next to the donut tower . . . and each and every one of the other 24 men sang with him.

It was one of the most thoughtful and tender moments I have ever experienced.

At a time when our country and Corporate America is too often hyper-focused on men who may have made bad decisions, I am compelled to ask the question, “What about all the good men?” The kind of men who rise every day to support, protect, care for, and inspire those in their lives – both personally and professionally. The kind of men who are courageous and share their vulnerability.

The kind of men who stop everything to sing happy birthday.

Because we could all use a little bit more of that.

– Christy Uffelman